Author Archives: Jon Wagner

An Alzheimer’s Playlist: Songs of Loss, Disorientation and Reverence

Posted on June 1, 2021 by Jon Wagner

It’s amazing how many love songs focus on a person who feels unrequited, disoriented, despairing or angry as a result of external circumstances. The circumstances can vary, but their negative consequences for love have brought us musical offerings that lament … Continue reading →

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How can anyone work all day around people with Alzheimer’s or dementia?

Posted on December 2, 2019 by Jon Wagner

Are you genuinely curious, or just expressing relief that you don’t have to do this kind of work? If you’re curious, we can tell you what we’ve experienced as volunteer caregivers for friends and family members. We can also describe … Continue reading →

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Seeing Selectively

Posted on April 24, 2019 by Jon Wagner

We’ve had this table and these chairs for 20 years or so. I never tire of looking at how they come together from different angles in the changing light from the window behind.  That appreciation involves both my head and … Continue reading →

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Seeing Continuities

Posted on April 23, 2019 by Jon Wagner

The view from my hospital room the morning after a heart procedure. The version of myself that sees the physical world in terms of light, color, lines, and forms has a lot of vitality, but it’s pretty specialized, somewhat obsessive, … Continue reading →

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Talking through Loss and Distress – 27 April 2017 –

Posted on April 2, 2019 by Jon Wagner

When I arrived at A Kinder Light (Leslie’s second memory care residence) Leslie was seated at Lucy, Vern and Ruth’s table for lunch, facing the window and staring outside. Ruth wasn’t there, but Lucy and Vern were. I checked in … Continue reading →

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What can you do if he’s just talking nonsense?

Posted on April 1, 2019 by Jon Wagner

When you say ‘nonsense,’ do you mean vocalizations that are never formed into words, like when we moan or cry out, sigh or smack our lips? Or the fish mouth, cooing and gitchey-gitchey-goo sounds we use with infants and intimate … Continue reading →

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My Cousin Leslie’s Lunch Plate

Posted on March 10, 2019 by Jon Wagner

My Cousin Leslie’s Lunch Plate — Thursday, July 5, 2018 I took this photo of what was left on my cousin Leslie’s lunch plate when I visited with her on Thursday July 5, 2018. If we compared it to a … Continue reading →

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Collaborative Trial and Error

Posted on February 26, 2019 by Jon Wagner

As I learned more about the trial and error adjustments she made while visiting Leslie, I came to regard Lisa not only as a kind and loving daughter but also as an extremely imaginative and effective care-giver. That regard persists … Continue reading →

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Empirical Questions

Posted on February 25, 2019 by Jon Wagner

A lot of what we’d like to know about Alzheimer’s and dementia can be asked in the form of empirical questions. By empirical, we mean that the best way to answer the question is to get the best information possible … Continue reading →

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Problematic Questions

Posted on February 25, 2019 by Jon Wagner

We consider questions “problematic” when they reflect false, misguided or demeaning assumptions. Some problematic questions go beyond that to implicitly or explicitly dehumanize people who are living with Alzheimer’s or dementia, their care-givers, family and friends, or the rest of … Continue reading →

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